02.06.12

5:50 p.m.

so, i'm trying to figure out to do with this money.

my mother gave me money on monday, before i was to leave new york for the first time. i'm trying to think of the best way to spend it. i have a couple of ideas, but i'm not really quite sure yet.

she gave me a hundred dollars. two fifties. what's left, is about half.

i broke the first fifty while still in new york. on the way home from the airport monday night. after sitting in a motionless airplane for two hours, watching the chances of my making it to the connecting flight that was waiting for me in chicago dwindle away. eventually realizing that the only thing that would come of waiting any longer would be a chi-town hotel room and a ticket for some other flight the next morning.

and i figured that, if i had the choice, i would rather be stuck in new york. because with new york comes home cooking. also, i had already spent enough down time in the soul-less white acoustics of international airports, waiting.

on the way out, friday morning, i had a three hour layover in washington. i was to arrive at six and depart at nine and be in new york well-before half past ten. but when, later in morning, i found someone sitting in my seat on that connecting-to-new-york flight-- when everyone came to realization that i had been double booked, and when i (without argument) gave up my seat to the girl that had already been sitting in it-- i was given a ticket for a later flight to albany, leaving at one in the afternoon.

i was also given a voucher for one economy class ticket, to and from anywhere in the continental united states, redeemable at anytime within the next year. which is good. because now, if i feel the desire to put myself through this bamboo-under-the-fingernails sort of torture again, i can. at any time. for free.

but, the fifty dollars. i have it. i have it and i don't know what to do with it.

and today is my first day back. to work, to my life here. i'm back. and i don't know if it's that i haven't really eaten anything of substance in the past two days, or if it's jetlag, but today, today is a melancholy sort of day.

it may also have something to do with events of the weekend, the reason why i went back home. but, now is not the time. i have yet to be in that kind of mood. that sort openness, that has yet to be me.

the other day, nic wrote something that was along the same lines. he said, "i shan't attempt herein to rewrite my thoughts on this weekend's 'anti-festivities', nor on the man whose passing incurred them, nor on what joys, frustrations, sorrows, insights and ribaldries attended them. some other time."

and, even though the definition of word ribaldries presently escapes me, i know that, over-all, he meant then what i mean now.

i was thinking that maybe sushi would be the way to go. with the fifty dollars, i mean. i was thinking that maybe, with a full stomach, the day would feel less down.

i haven't had good sushi in a while. malinda and i, we haven't been back to chika in months.

so, maybe that would be a good idea.

sushi.