02.04.13

7:01 p.m.

ok housemusic, look. i'm sorry.

really, i'm sorry.

i know. i know i've been neglecting you lately. yeah, i know. i know i've haven't been the most attentive of friends recently, really. really. i know this.

look housemusic, you know how much you've always meant to me. you know that you've always been my saving grace when things weren't necessarily the greatest. when dad died and when i was the only one left in new york. when i got to san francisco and there wasn't anyone around who thought anything close to good of me.

and you were always there. you were there, and you were the only thing that made me feel anything other than dead and deadended.

and i know. i know that lately things have been good and i felt like maybe i didn't love you as much as i have in the past, or that (gasp) i was actually starting to out grow you. yeah, i know. silly, right?

i mean, it's come to the point were (half the time) i don't even listen to you on my way into work. and that was our time! the ride into work, that was our time. our little quality half hour.

but housemusic, look. i'm sorry. i'm sorry.

housemusic, look. this morning you were there for me. this morning, sitting in the basement, waiting for me when i woke up. all nice and dark and tribally. wanting to make me smile, continuously and for six hours.

housemusic, look. i forgot. i'll admit it, i forgot. i forgot how happy you make me. and yeah, i know. i know. how could i forget, right? how could i forget? i don't know.

really, i don't know. i don't know how i could have forgotten. really.

but look. housemusic, look. i'm here. i'm here and i'm telling you now. it won't happen again.

honestly. i am for real.