02.03.08

4:33 p.m.

this happened last saturday:

we are standing outside of north beach pizza at two in the morning. standing, on the sidewalk and smoking cigarettes. no light and all alone. and we are trying to step on each other's feet because we are playful and tipsy. and, it is two in the morning.

and she says, 'you know, when i'm with you i'm always reminded of this lucksmiths song. do you know them?'

and i shake my head.

'well,' puff puff, 'yeah, the lucksmiths. they have this song. it's called smokers in love. and i'm always reminded of that song whenever i'm around you cause, you know, we're always smoking.'

and then she stands there, smiling. looking at me. looking. smiling in that way that she smiles. and then, she starts laughing.

and she throws her cigarette on the ground and laughs somemore and, as she turns to go back inside she says, 'i can't believe i just told you that.'

and then she's through the door.

and i am left all alone. with my cigarette and the occasional couple passing by, i am left alone. smiling, finishing my cigarette. shaking my head.

and when i get back to the table she is sitting down. and before i even get to my seat i start talking.

i say, 'you know, that's funny. what you said about the lucksmiths song, that's funny. cause everytime i'm with you, i have to fight myself from saying i love you.

'like, it's this great big battle- inside my head, all the time- to keep those three words from coming out.'

and she smiles, and stares. and i smile. and we're smiling together, staring.

and she says, 'yeah.'

she says, 'me too.'