02.02.18

9:55 p.m.

stoo's recipe for feeling better when you are feeling sick on president's day:

• four chlor-trimeton twelve hour caplets
• eight fluid ounces of robitussin dm
• one pint of hot and sour soup with pork
• one half pack of camel non-filtered cigarettes
• one bag of cookies baked by mom
• one two liter bottle of coke
• lots of sleep

but, listen:

this is very important and something you must remember. do not take all of the drugs at once. if you do, you will die.

instead, stagger them. sip the robitussin throughout the day. take the next chlor-trimeton when you feel the last chlor-trimeton stop working.

if done correctly, you will eventually feel like cotten candy.

and deffinately deffinately eat cookies made by mom. and if not cookies, soup. and if not soup, something else.

because your mother's love for you will make you feel better. it has been proven scientifically.