02.02.17

9:01 p.m.

ok, so. i wanted to tell you about this yesterday but i forgot.

yesterday, cold and rainy and gray. waiting for dug to show up at the embarcadero, the wind blowing. drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes, watching people walk by. waiting.

and in my headphones was a cd that came free with an issue of mixmag a couple of months back, mixed by john creamer and stephane k. and it was at it's end, the last song. and the last song was 'i wish you were here.'

and it's hook goes like this: 'i wish you knew, i wish you knew how much i wished that you were here with me. i wish you were here.' over dark sparse tribal beats and white noise, just repeating. over and over and over.

and me with cigarettes and coffee. waiting and cold. gray.

it was just haunting.

i don't know, out of all the moments from yesterday, i remembered that moment the most of all.

yeah, anyway.

about today:

today was a very good day. today, post old english forty, kinda hung over and cloudy. malinda and i, hanging out.

and malinda is awesome, have i mentioned this? yes. yes, malinda is awesome.

this is why malinda is awesome:

malinda is awesome because she throws my fears of public displays of affection to the wind and grabs me and kisses me while we are drinking coffee on the sidewalk. and that is a very nice thing indeed, yes.

and afterwards i can't help but just stare at her and think 'wow, you just grabbed me and kissed me, that's pretty neat.'

she makes me realize that i am too shy about some things sometimes.

the other night we were laughing, praising the vodka and redbull, because it finally gave me the courage to say 'you know what malinda? i want to kiss you.'

yeah, really.

i'm a big sissy most of the time.