02.01.27

12:16 a.m.

today, when i woke up, i decided to go to amoeba.

and at amoeba, buying records. and seriously, the indian girl that works there is quite pretty. with her nose ring and her hair cut all short. her big big eyes. and when she looks up, with her head down just slightly, i am in heaven.

and talking to her, and she's nice! she is my newest crush (she is, in addition to the few crushes that i have going on already).

and while talking to her, a co-worker friend of her's walks up and whispers something in her ear and she says 'du-ude, shut up,' all bashful and then looks at me. and for a minute i'm imagining that he said something in reference to some comment that she made earlier about her thinking i was cute.

and then, on the bus, riding home. my head against the window and the people on the sidewalk passing by all blurry. the rain still holding off and everything gray. listening to housemusic.

and i can't help but wonder what her skin feels like.

and i took the wrong bus. from haight, i took the wrong bus. ended up in the marina just wandering around, the biggest smile you have ever seen.

i don't know. like i said, i'm just happy. i really don't know why, i'm just happy.

at one point, in my head i was saying to myself, 'look at this, you are alive. you are fucking alive.'