01.09.11

11:30 p.m.

so (and i don't mean to be pithy, but) all this stuff happened today-

i was woken up by my roommate around seven thirty in the morning and he told me to get up and i didn't really understand so much what was happening when he led me out to the television and pointed and said 'look',

and he was pointing to the television and they were showing the trade towers billowing smoke and all (and i think we all know the shot that i am talking about- the first one they got, the one with the bad angle) and, well-

i think i kinda just stood there for a second and rubbed my eyes a little and turned around and went to make some coffe.

my mother called me crying a couple hours later and she was crying- i think the seriousness of all this got to her, and, well, she's scared a lot about a lot of things lately too- and she says, 'what if it happens everywhere?' sob sob 'what if it's a calculated attack on major cities around the country?' sob sob-

and i say, well, you know mom, san francisco doesn't really have anything that means anything to anyone that doesn't live here and i don't really think anything here would make any sort of statement that people like these people are trying to make-

and she says, sob sob, 'what about the golden gate bridge?' sob sob-

and i laugh half heartedly, sob sob, and i say, well, that's ok, i never go over the bridge-

and she laughs too (kinda), kinda, sniff sniff.

and i'm worried about elaine terry- i'm worried about elaine terry (and i know it's kinda silly, but), i've been checking her page off and on, checking to see if she's written anything today and she hasn't-

and i don't really know her well enough to write her email to see if she's all right (which she is, most ashuredly), but, i don't know-

i'm still a little worried.

but, hmm,

i watched the television with coffee just about all day today- i watched the television and the replays and, honestly, i keep watching just to see if it will ever seem believable, you know?-

like, it just doesn't seem real,

it's just so horrible-